Top 5 Most Creative Property Agents on PropertyGuru

 

One of the recent activities that I've been hooked on is surfing property guru. It was sparked off by an apartment viewing last weekend. That apartment was close to perfection (like 85%) and we were so so so tempted to get it.
But there were a couple of annoying downsides which we just couldn't get over. So, being very rational people, we've decided to hold back and continue our hunt for the perfect place.

Determined to find a better bargain at that price range, I started trawling though hundreds of property postings on property guru.
 

"You will spend all your waking hours surfing me. Yes, you will!"

I couldn't stop.
It was like yahoo.auction.sg (back in the 90s) or qoo100, etsy in the present day. It is so addictive to sieve through the different postings, especially since each agent injects his/her own creativity into the post. Here are a few gems which I've uncovered this morning.

(Disclaimer - I do not own any of the rights to the pictures. All photos belong to the property agents..*insert appropriate legal mumbo jumbo*).

And hey, agents, if you get a special mention below, congrats!! You managed to cut through the clutter of a gazillion other postings to get my attention.

1. The Photographer

This particular property is located in a neighbourhood which I'm quite keen on. Oh, it comes with 8 uploaded pictures, great! I should get a pretty good idea of the apartment itself...

 Source: Propertyguru.com

Or maybe not...



Beautiful neighbourhood



oh another pic of the shophouses? ok great



oh yes, filters make your pics awesome. Now the neighbourhood appears cosier. Can you show me the apartment now?




So... the apartment?



Ok. I guess I'm not going to get to see the apartment.

 I didn't get to see the apartment, but I did get a lesson on insta filters and photography skills.  yay.

2. The writer

After browsing through hundreds of advertisements, I realise that the agents' most favoured phrases are-  ''rare buy", "cannot be missed", "view or you will regret", "great investment opportunity", "cannot miss!".
I also think that agents have special keyboards which have the Caps Lock perpetually on, and the only functioning punctuation mark is the "!!!" (ya, must be 3 times)

So a typical post will go something like this -
"RARE! 3bedroom apartment along XX road! At only 1,2XX psf, CANNOT MISS!!!"

Sometimes, they will throw in the word 'Firesale' or ''priced below valuation'' for the really good ones, to get your heart rate up a little.

This particular agent, however, goes for the softer approach. He must be a writer of sorts, who favours whimsical analogies over the hard selling phrases used by his peers.



OH YES! I would very much like to stay in a toy house in its wrapping box.

Actually, I'm serious. The apartment did look pretty good in the pictures and I might just arrange for a viewing. If we do get it, we will hold a housewarming party in our toy house.

3. Bilingual Scholars  
 

 

There were also a few bilingual scholars out there, catering towards a specific group of foreign buyers.

Very poetic.
Did you also realise that the entire Chinese paragraph is written in groups of 4 words? fwah... machiam all 成语 like that.


 4. The Talented Marketeer

So, the apartment which you are selling does not come with its own glossy brochure or images from big developers. What do you do?

Its ok! You ka ki lai! (loosely translated as 'Do it yourself')

Actually, I'm assuming these came from some other development. To the agent (if you are reading this) - If you've  paid for these stock images and did your own copywriting, I'd like to apologise for my bad judgement and for challenging your integrity. These are indeed pretty well done.

 

YOUR OWN URBAN WILDLIFE 
(I'm not sure what this means actually.)

You will get hot sexy neighbours at the pool.

 

Yet, it remains as an extremely family friendly environment. Ideal for bringing up kids and Prince, the pooch.

 

 

 

A BOLD PROJECTION OF CONTEMPORARY SENSE.
(Yes! I'm feeling more atas already)

 Are you ready for the big reveal?
Are you ready for the space, that is your own urban wildlife, a projection of contemporary sense?

 No, I didn't think you were ready. Neither was I.

But A+ for effort, I say!

5. Niche Buyers

Target niche buyers, because couples and families are too mainstream.

If Christian Grey were to move to Singapore, I'm sure he will be interested in a viewing for this place.

For the 50 shades in you.
(Actually, the rest of the write-up was well written and the place was pretty cool.)

"Mmm... yes, I can see the potential of this place"
Source: FameFlynetUK/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES

Next, Tidy Gem.


I've not quite figured out the intended audience for this tidy gem. But I'm sure someone out there is looking for a tidy gem kinda home.



 And that concludes my very fun morning on property guru. 
Happy house hunting! 

P.S. On a serious note, if you've come across any good developments, let me know.